Thursday, October 25, 2012

Kibun ga Warui, Kimi no Sei de. Daikirai, Kimi.

This post is going unintentionally emo. Stop reading if you don't want to.

Why anyone that I took interest with end up with someone else? Not it didn't happened once, but THRICE! One from the primary school and two from high school. And the current one was the WORST. EXPERIENCE. EVER. OCCUR.

I didn't realise this up till now. Maybe I didn't know to read the atmosphere. Or too dense. Too ignorant probably. I thought that by giving a present or exchanging some pretty obvious messages would hinting on something. And the idiot me play along the rhythm. Oh how wrong I am. Absolutely wrong.

It's pretty stupid if I didn't see him talking/laughing/joking around/sit together with another girl. With a very shiawase no kao. With a very kirakira no egao. But then I thought: "Nah, maybe they're very close friend."

How foolish of me.

And then today. How much I hate, hate, hate today.

They sat together. And very close too. Some feelings lumped in my throat. Is it jealousy? Or embarrassed? Or purely shocked? I don't know. And I heard my best friends talking about them.

"Are they going out?" "Yeah, obviously." *laugh* "I almost can see rainbows coming out from them." "Yeah, they're totally happy."

I didn't bother to join the conversation. I just laughed together. Taking it as a joke. But I felt a piercing pain. And now I know what it is. It's the pain of a heartbroken. With no love returned.

Now I'm afraid of facing them. Without feeling slightly jealous or hatred or else. 

... I hate this feeling. I hate it. Why it grows in me? Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID.


Started to translate some lines from Wasurenagusa Saitou. And apparently I played the eroi part. And I died. Again.

Oh Saitou, why you are so evil? You raep my ears with your absolutely aroused breath and those wet kisses GOSH WHERE DID THAT COME FROM AKHGSLKFSDGS---

This will take really long time to finish. I hope you can be patient as angels!

1 comment:

  1. Life is cruel to us like that. I had the same issue too. I had a crush on this guy for 8 years...we've always been pretty good friends. However he dated all my girl friends. I mean I can live with it, knowing that he dated them, but this one day, he broke my heart, he asked me if I wanted to go out with his best friend because we would look cute together. I wanted to cry right there so badly. Never fell so down so hard before. Never had a crush afterward either. I'm like forever alone...

    But on a happy note. Love your blog...I stalk it from time to time. Keep up the good work


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